Let me hold on a little longer…

By January 31, 2020 Food for thought
Let me hold on a little longer... 1

The way you smile and laugh as I push you on the swing at our favorite park. The way you leave me a quarter of my king size bed, as you snuggle up next to me in my nook. The way you grab my face with the tiniest of palms you have, kiss me and say, “Your my heart mommy.” Your honest words that flow from your little lips as you loudly announce to me,  “I’m a big boy now mommy!” “I’m not little.” “I’m big like Superman!”

The way you stare at me with purest of love, and the way I glance back to catch your gaze, watching you grow before my very eyes.  Sometimes I feel as though you can sense my thoughts. Slow down little boy, hold on a little longer little man. I’m not quite ready yet.  Grip a little harder onto my hand, step a little slower down those steps,  leave your head on my shoulder just a while longer and let’s stay in this moment as long as we can.

However we can’t can we? This is how it goes. “They” tell you it goes fast but we are never quite prepared emotionally for how fast it actually does pass. Everyday your doing something new, exciting, and perhaps slightly questionable at times.  More often than not I am bringing in new clothing and donating others that your body is outgrowing. I am forever looking at your Daddy with surprise replying “When did he learn that?”

Ah… I am so thankful to be a boy mom.  You have tested me, increased anxiety at times, made me close the blinds in our home so neighbours couldn’t see me run after you to put you in your time out chair. Apologizing to complete strangers in the checkout line for an object they had to dodge.  You have brought the sentence “Oh my gosh what are you doing now!?” As a regular everyday occurrence. In the same breath you have given me an abundance of love.

My son…I will rock you as long as I want,  and as long as you will allow. I will smother you with kisses and yell “I love you” until it isn’t “cool” anymore. I will lay with you till your eyes close, and sing you the songs we share together until you become aware to the fact I actually cannot carry a tune. I will scare away the monsters from beneath your bed, until you realize your strength outweighs your fears.

As time brings you older, and “mommy” becomes just “mom.” I will continue to hold on to each memory, each moment, each kiss, each tear, and each milestone. You are as big as Superman my love, and you will fly just as high.

Xx

Ash

Leave a Reply

16 + three =